Have you been Ma'am-ed yet?

I think it's a right of passage, somewhere around our 40th birthday  we stop being referred to as Miss and start hearing the dreaded Ma'am word. I know that most people claim that it is a sign of respect but the first time I heard it it was a bit of a shock. It told me that the perception of me to the rest of the world had just crossed a line and it was one that I wasn't sure which side I wished to be on. I like my life so it's easy to be happy about who I am right now and truly I do feel that there are many perks to being older and a lot less angst. My husband felt the same sense of discomfort the first time a teenager called him Sir so I know it's not just a sexist term more an ageist one.

A few years ago a friend who is a little older than me gave me a some insight into how this perception of us by younger people progresses. She told me that she feels invisible, and generally disregarded as an old person. I suppose it's a reflection of our society at large. 

We had some ageism show up at the Knitting Guild I belong to a few months ago. A new member while complimenting the format of our meetings and the programming wanted to find the same thing but in a group with younger members. I had a great conversation about it with some of my knitting friends and the two youngest (one more than 20 years younger than me),didn't really see the new member's point. We also discussed the age of the guilds executive which is generally older than the average age of the members. I think this may be due to the fact that most younger women especially those with children simply don't have the time  available to commit to the hours of unpaid volunteer work necessary to make the guild run. I like having friends of different ages as it adds to my experience of the world to hear how people at different stages of life feel about various topics.When I started thinking about it my friends have a forty year age range and I value them independently of their number of years on this earth.

BTW, You can buy the apron here.

Retiring?

I worked for Bell Canada for a long time. I started as an operator when I was 17 and worked part time through High School and University. After completing a Psychology degree at the University of Toronto I settled down in a full time position and pursued knitting purely as a hobby. I was always passionate about fashion and clothing and that gave me a great deal of enjoyment.

At Bell ageism was a fact of life and retirement packages came out regularly. My husband and I carefully assessed the first two that I qualified for and in both cases decided I should keep working. Our financial planner advised me that the only really sure way to take a package and be completely confident that the decision was right was to assess it and make the assumption that you might never work again. If the assessment determined that you would be OK under those conditions then she said go for it!

In 2004 another package came out. Rumours were rampant that more people would be eligible than ever before. The rumours were wrong! Eligibility followed the same legally determined rules as always. However the offer was the best Bell ever made and included an unprecedented increase in pensionable earnings. When I did the assessment it made no financial sense to stay... so goodbye Bell Canada.

I was 48 at the time and not ready to retire. I did explore a knitting career at the time but couldn't see a way that worked for me. I worked on contract for another year at Bell and then did a stint at Village Yarns http://www.villageyarns.com/ I eventually ended up at a small Bay Street brokerage firm doing reception and basic administration work.